SO REAL (Astrology)

WHOA MAN, THIS SITE HAS BEEN FREAKING ME OUT LATELY:  

Welcome to the part of my blog where I freak out and blog obsessively about astrology. I'm super into astrology. Please join my crazy club. 

So, I have four planets retrograde in my natal chart (Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto) , which makes me a "retrograde individual" according to this site...

Here's what it says about Mars retrograde:  

MARS RETROGRADE – shifts the outward thrust of energy characteristic of MARS and directs it inward.  You will tend to expend a lot of energy reliving internally your past experiences.  Because you are constantly to the past, you may inflict past life roles upon the persons in your present life’s environment.  There is a strong tendency to place priority upon fulfilling your spiritual desires, resulting in neglect of the physical body’s needs.   An intentional focus on holistic growth is needed.  Sexual experiences can be less fulfilling because your energy is turned inward.  However, sex that is deeply rooted in love between two partners and that strives for a mutual spiritual orgasm can be a much more natural expression for MARS RETROGRADE. 

MARS RETROGRADE KARMA – indicates your actions tend to be an effort to recreate situations from your prior lifetimes.  You may expend energy in attempting to find people in the present who can symbolize those who fulfilled you in the past.  You may try to act out all that you could not express in prior lifetimes.  You may over-react when your efforts fail to produce your desired results.  This over-reaction can result in “coming on” too strongly, only to have people pull back.

It gets better:

JUPITER RETROGRADE

 turns its energy of expansion inward, so that much inner growth takes place, often through spiritually oriented studies. JUPITER RETROGRADE offers the opportunity for a highly spiritual incarnation.  You must seek your own Truth; for, the mundane and status quo is likely to leave you feeling discontent.  You are a free-spirit and cannot follow happily in the footsteps of others.  Great wisdom and prophetic ability can be present, especially as you attain spiritual maturity.  JUPITER RETROGRADE can bring many déjà-vu experiences; you can feel at home anywhere on the planet. 

Here's the doozy, Saturn retrograde:  

THE DWELLER ON THE THRESHOLD

The planet of self-discipline, SATURN’s goal for you is perfection.

This hits me so hard. I love self-discipline. I believe it to be the only path to freedom. 

SATURN helps us bear our karma and successfully pass our tests.  Until we willingly accept self-discipline, we experience SATURN as feelings of limitation, deprivation, delay, and disappointment.  SATURN’s true desire is to grant us wisdom and compassion.

SATURN RETROGRADE is your signal that you are re-doing a lifetime.  This incarnation is your 2nd chance; thus, you will feel the burden of dealing with two lifetimes at once.  You can, therefore, experience inner doubts about your self-worth and your ability to overcome difficulties.  The good news is that your soul knows you have achieved the spiritual maturity required to re-do successfully a lifetime.  You have in prior lifetimes advanced through great personal struggles and sacrifices.  Now, as you learn to flow with SATURN’s discipline, you will be rewarded with enormous wisdom.  SATURN is comfortable in RETROGRADE motion, and as you flow with it, you develop the capacity to tap into all of your past life wisdom and talents.  SATURN RETROGRADE is a sign of an old Soul who has advanced far on the spiritual path.  Now, you have incarnated to perfect what you have learned. (Ummmm ..... !!!!!!!!!!!!)

          PARENTS:  your SATURN RETROGRADE child is likely to possess a serious nature and to feel overly responsible.  You can assist your child by incorporating regular periods of play into the daily schedule.  You might need to reassure this child that until he/she grows into adulthood, you will be the parent while he/she enjoys being the child.  Self-discipline learned through play can be effective.  Competitive sports may overload the child with the need to be responsible and do well for his/her team.  Individual sports, such as swimming, track, and tennis may be more helpful.  Observe your child and follow your intuitive guidance.  Sculpture, sewing, and woodworking can be playful ways to satisfy the SATURN need to build structures.

SATURN RETROGRADE KARMA – the re-doing of a lifetime, with the extra weight that entails.  SATURN RETROGRADE will be serious about getting it right this time. 

BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE!

PLUTO RETROGRADE – turns its transformative energy even more deeply into the superconsciousness, bringing about an inner illumination long before you are able to give it expression in the outer world. PLUTO RETROGRADE indicates a carry-over of psychic powers from previous lifetimes.  These powers are to be used in constructive ways only.  You will feel the struggle humanity is going through within yourself—humanity’s struggle is your struggle.  You are aware of and feel responsible for lifting your conscious awareness so that the consciousness of humanity can be thereby lifted.

          PLUTO RETROGRADE KARMA – A karmic debt is owned to humanity stemming from the age indicated by the sign in which PLUTO is located.  This debt is to be paid through selfless service to humanity. Tremendous spiritual growth is possible; you have the opportunity to rise above the karma of the human race and step off the wheel of rebirth.  PLUTO RETROGRADE joins NEPTUNE RETROGRADE in asking that you live in the world, while remaining separate from it.

So this is obviously one interpretation dealing with an astrologer who does past life work, etc... but damn. This is some spot on shit for me personally.  

What about you? What planets are retrograde in your natal chart, if any? Talk to me! Let's talk about the planets and the stars!!!